


i'm sorry i'm not good enough

by woobff



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Crush, jacob is hurt, jacob is me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23357428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woobff/pseuds/woobff
Summary: unrequited crush hurts the most
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Kim Sunwoo
Kudos: 18





	i'm sorry i'm not good enough

**Author's Note:**

> once more with personal experience showcased into idols and im sorry but enjoy reading it i guess <3
> 
> hope no one ever encounters this heartbreak ily <3

" sunwoー " whatever Jacob had in mind to say, flew out of the window as his eyes focused on the sight infront.

the grocery bag in his hold fell to the ground, the contents spilling as he hid his gasp behind his palms, eyes already watering.

" _hyung_ ー," the two younger said, cheeks blushing a red hue making the older sick to the stomach.

the moment sunwoo took a step forward, Jacob turned to walk away, ignoring the soft calls of the best friend.

or he could say his long term _crush_.

_" you okay? " Jacob asks, once the bell rang signaling the end of class. as the professor left along with the other students, the chaos in the lecture room slowly went down, leaving only the sound of the air conditioner buzzing in the background._

_" Yeah, why? " sunwoo replies as he hung the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, taking the older's hand in his. and Jacob would be lying if that didn't make his heartbeat. or the way he felt butterflies in his stomach._

_but he chose to ignore it in favor of interlocking his hand with the others. "_

_hyung? " oh god, he daydreamed. "_

_o-oh! it's because younghoon said he saw you arguing with haknyeon, " Jacob replies, lips forming into a smile when sunwoo took the binder from his arms._

_" it's nothing " came the reply as they walked out the campus, " he was just being annoying, "_

_" don't be mean, "_

_you like that boy, was what he meant to continue._

Jacob was already out the campus site when a hand grabbed his elbow making him halt in his steps.

the night sky made the entire landscape seemed gloomy and that was what Jacob was feeling.

the only light being illuminated was the street lights along the walkway and even that did nothing to cheer him up.

" hyung, please, " he heard sunwoo whispers,

" don't touch me, " Jacob seethes, pulling his arm away, anger now replacing the sadness in him.

by now, his cheeks were already glistening with tears, as he wretched out sobs.

" i'm sorry, " 

" stop that bullshit Kim, "

_the clock was already showing ten minutes past two in the morning and the browned haired boy has still yet to reach the dorm._

_before Jacob had the chance to press the call button, the doorbell rang making him stand up in surprise._

_sunwoo never uses the bell. he just knocks._

_putting on the house slippers, he went to the doorstep, pulling the latch and opening the door. "_

_ー ve you, " was what greeted him along with the two figures pulling from each other._

_" oh hi hyung! sunwoo got drunk at the party, " haknyeon chastise playfully and Jacob doesn't know why or how the sick feeling appeared in his gut. "_

_t-that's okay. thanks for sending him home, hak, " Jacob chooses to answer as he brought the boy of conversation in._

_and he chooses to ignore the giddy smile of the other or the way his lips were swollen red._

_it's probably the alcohol._

" you lied to me, " Jacob whispers, his voice cracking in the middle sentence. from others' point of view, it'll probably look too dramatic, having two individuals crying in the middle of a walkway. but Jacob couldn't handle the pain he was feeling. the feeling of heartbreak.

" and i'm sorー "

" ー _you're not_ sunwoo! for the love of God, you're not sorry! if you are, you would've told me the truth instead of doing this! you know what i felt for you! " Jacob cries out, now turning to face him, just to have a mirror reflection,

_both of them were crying._

" you know i loved you! you knew that and you still kept playing this little dumb game! " he continues, now punching sunwoo's shoulders, just to get the pain out. to get the anger out.

" _hyung_ , "

"I hate you so much, for making me feel like the absolute worthless piece of crap, "

_' hyung, can you grab me banana milk and pass me at the chemistry block? i have to stay back, '_

_' yeah sure sun :] '_ _when Jacob typed that reply, he was already out of bed, spraying perfume as he slipped on his sneakers._

_putting on the beanie on the way out, he couldn't help but feel giddy._

_he was going to confess to sunwoo today. and if he has to do it with banana milk in hand, then so be it._

_ten minutes later, Jacob found himself entering the block, a plastic bag in hand containing the milk and other treats._

_and as he scrolled through his playlist, he hummed along to the melody playing in his ears before something caught his attention from the peripheral vision._

" when were you going to tell me, _sun_? " Jacob whispers, eyes cast downwards.

" t-today, "

and Jacob wished he had the strength to stay strong, but he never got it as he collapsed to the ground, knees scraping against the rough cement.

_" are you sure this is what you want? "_

_" yes, i like you hak, " Jacob recognizes that voice, or whisper anywhere._

_so when Jacob turned his head to the right, he should've expected what was about to come._

_he should've known that he was preparing himself to enter heartbreak, the moment he saw the two connect lips. the moment he saw sunwoo's hands cupping the cheeks of haknyeon as the other had his arms around his waist. he should've known._

" _hyung_ , please, don't cry, " sunwoo cries out, now kneeling infront of the older as he tried to hold his hands just to reach thin air.

Jacob couldn't endure the pain his heart was feeling, the feeling of having as if a hand was clenching his chest and ripping his heart out. the feeling of having his throat constricted as he let out sobs.

" d- _don't cry?_ you want me to not cry after seeing you kiss him? " Jacob chuckles out, in between sobs,

" you know damn well how i felt for you, yet you still toyed with my heart like a _fucking_ toy didn't you Kim? you should've let me know you didn't feel the same way before bringing me into this mess, sunwoo, " the older hiccups, his eyes burning due to tears pooling up.

the two stayed in that position in what seemed like hours, both crying, one in pain, the other in regret before a voice broke the silence.

" _hyung_ , i'm sorry, " Jacob looked up to find haknyeon staring back at him, his cheeks wet as his hand-carried the grocery bag he dropped.

and the oldest has never wanted to scream at someone so bad.

to just _punch_ him to let him know the pain he was internally feeling.

the pain a physical pain _could never_ cause.

" don't apologize to me haknyeon, juー _just_ leave me alone, you too sunwoo, " Jacob finalizes before standing up, moving away at the mere distance of sunwoo reaching out for him.

" last long you two, " and with that Jacob walked away, ignoring the calls of the other, and leaving his heart in the hands of someone who broke it.


End file.
